Holly Renae Proffitt

There comes a time for each for us
When nothing can be done
To ease the pain and sorrow
Of losing a beloved one
It's at these times we need
More than we ever could say
The quiet touch of understanding
The loving look or gaze
So rather than try to take away
The grieving feelings inside
Just know that I am thinking of you
And time will be your guide.

My Dearest Holly,

I don't know where to begin to tell you how empty our lives are without you here with us.  I will never understand the accident that ultimately took your life, but I guess some things are not for us to understand while still here on earth.  Of my four children you did everything the earliest, except of course get out of the bed.   You walked at nine months, talked early, and could write your name before the age of 2. (You signed it HO for the longest time, which we all loved and kidded you about when you got older.)  I never dreamed I would have you as a normal, healthy child for only sixteen years.  You had so much promise and potential in life.  Could pass any test without even cracking a book.  Loved to read novels and short stories.  Exceptional basketball player with a lot of heart and strength.  That strength is what gave you six more years here with us after your accident.

I will never forget walking into the ER that morning and being met by the Chaplain of the hospital.  I naturally assumed you had died already and remember falling on my knees in the private little room they take you to for such things.  I did not learn you were still alive for over ten minutes.  When I first saw you after the accident you were unhurt except the head injuries.  I kept looking at your hands and feet to make sure you were my Holly.  Of course you still had that beautiful long hair you had grown out then, so I would have known that was you.  I never imagined then how our lives would be changed from that injury.  I had never seen anyone who had survived a massive head injury and the resulting loss of ability.  You were such a fighter, you perservered, you took what life gave you and did the best you could.  I have struggled so much with losing you after you got through so much those years.  Six long years of surgeries, rehabilitation, seizures and physical limitations.  Then you were gone, just like that, no warning, no preparation.  I thought the worst was behind us.  You are forever in my heart and soul, and I will keep your memory alive until my last breath here on earth.  Thank you my baby for all the signs you send me; my Holly tree that just sprang up in your garden out of no where, my I love Holly inscribed in the side walk, and all the times I look at the clock for no reason and it is 10:21- the day my life changed for ever. 

 I love you with all my heart and always will.  You are my hero, my inspiration, you keep me going forward each and every day knowing that I cannot give up even though I have moments just like everyone else.  The grief of losing a child is overwhelming and all- consuming at times.  When I have these moments I find a quiet place and remember what you went through those last six years.  The pain, the loss and uncertainity.  You put one foot in front of the other and learned to walk again.  You pushed forward and faced your life head on.  Remembering those moments makes me know I have to do the same- for my family, for myself, for all those who count on me in life, and most importantly, for you.  You are and always will be my first-born baby girl and a huge part of my life.  I love you.

Mom

~~

.

Remember me

Remember me when flowers bloom

early in the spring,

Remember me on sunny days

in the fun that summer brings.

Remember me in the fall

as you walk through the leaves of gold,

And in the winter - remember me

In the stories that are told.

But most of all remember

each day - right from the start,

I will be forever near

for I live within your heart.

                                       ~unknown